


The Road to Hell

by hisboywriter



Category: Young Avengers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-04
Updated: 2013-02-04
Packaged: 2017-11-28 04:26:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/670249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hisboywriter/pseuds/hisboywriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy reluctantly keeps a journal as he takes a road trip with Teddy and Billy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Road to Hell

**-X-**

_April 12 th 5:43 pm_

 

_Mrs. Kaplan suggested I keep a kind of journal during the HELL of a four day trip that is going to be my, the witch’s and his boyfriend’s road trip. Going to do it if only to document every time they do something annoying._

_Teddy said I could write how many cows I count during the trip._

**-x-**

“Not fair,” said Tommy.

Billy scanned for incoming traffic and merged onto the highway without a hitch. “Try legal,” he answered. “You’re not driving. End of discussion.”

“We didn’t have a discussion. The tyrant dictated it,” Tommy said, leaning forward so his elbows could perch on the shoulders of the driver and passenger seats.

“Guys, are we going to start fighting before we’re five minutes onto the freeway?” Teddy asked.

Though the blonde couldn’t see it, Tommy scrunched up his face at him and debated if it was worth the drama of snatching away the phone nestled in his large palm.

It wasn’t.

“Why can’t I be co-pilot then? I’m the best one with directions.”

“I have a license, unlike you, and will be driving half the time so it makes sense I’m up here,” Teddy said, eyes glued to the GPS on his phone. “Look on the bright side, you can just relax and nap the whole time.”

There was plenty to counter in that one statement alone, but Tommy resigned himself to sighing and peering out the window. Cars all over the spectrum plagued the asphalt of the highway, so much so that he could only see the gray ground in specks between bumpers, and the cars themselves were victim to rush hour. Just blocks of colors, stuck and trapped.

It was going to be a long drive.

“Yeah, relax,” he scoffed.

Billy spied him through the rearview mirror, adorned with an expression that reminded Tommy too much of Mrs. Kaplan. “Why don’t you try writing in your journal thing? I’m sure it will be therapeutic. For all of us.”

Tommy made a derisive sound through his nose, yanked out said journal from his bag, and scribbled in it as best as one could in a moving vehicle.

_April 12 th 6:04 pm_

_Red car count: 15_

_Silver car count: 34_

_Diarrhea green car count: 3_

_Bored count: Over 9000_

**-x-**

_April 13 th 4:48 am_

_Woke up from a nap with pen marks on my face. Suspect the witch did it as payback for blowing on his ear every four minutes._

_Pulled off the side of a road in remote area. Got to go out on a run to stretch my legs. Saw three sheep. Not as friendly up close as you’d think. Came back to the lovebirds kissing in the car. I hope that’s all they did._

_Cow count: 6_

 

**-x-**

Tommy sagged against the back of the passenger seat where Billy now sat. “Billy,” he started.

“No.”

“Can we turn on the radio?” Tommy asked.

Billy ducked deeper into the jacket he had employed as a blanket and grunted. “No,” he grumbled.

“Why not?”

“One,” Billy began, voice saturated in his ire, “you lost that privilege three hours ago when you trash talked about all the songs  _I_  wanted to listen to.”

Tommy snorted. “You wanted to listen to one of your musicals. On a CD. That’s not the radio,” he snapped.

“Two,” Billy said, louder, “I’m trying to sleep before I have to drive again.”

“Fine, co-pilot, I wasn’t even asking you,” Tommy said, scooting closer to Teddy. “Come on, Teddy. I’m dying of boredom back here.”

Teddy, who had been blessed with the distraction of maneuvering the car down the gloomy highway, shook his head. “Billy needs sleep. Maybe later,” he offered.

“Then I want to sit in the front seat next time,” Tommy added, probing his twin in a cushion-swathed shoulder. “Okay?”

Billy shushed him.

“Tommy,” Teddy said, just above a whisper, “play a game on your phone or something. Don’t you have music on it?”

“It  _did_ until it fell in the sink.”

“Not that again,” Teddy sighed.

“You always take his side.”

“Not really. He does need to sleep.”

Delivered another defeating blow, Tommy slumped forward and studied his bag. A little gameplay wouldn’t even take the edge of his brewing ennui, and there was the improbability of it taking a good chunk out of time for him.

And there was still the matter of establishing order back to the universe after Billy’s prank.

It didn’t take long until there was a sudden flurry of flailing arms as Billy bolted upright in his seat and jammed the radio on.

_April 13 th 10:32 am_

_Billy’s bad taste in music: 16_

_Billy’s good taste in music: 3_

_Side note: it takes less than 30 flicks to turn the witch’s earlobe red_

**-x-**

_April 14 th 12:22 pm_

_Still not allowed to use our abilities to get there faster. This acting normal thing is really overrated right now._

_Lost all cell phone privileges after I used Teddy’s phone to send Billy too many texts. Not all appropriate. Oh well no reception in Hell as I see it. Might have to resort to road trip games._

_Teddy not pleased I took his phone either. Maybe he thinks I’m going to tell the witch about those pics I saw that the big guy must have taken when the witch wasn’t looking. Bet he’d be surprised how often a certain witch has done the same thing._

_Worried I’m I getting more and more squished by this love sandwich the longer we drive._

**-x-**

“Um, let’s see, letter p,” Teddy hummed, wrinkling his nose at Tommy. Then, he exclaimed through a smile, “Ah, potatoes!”

Tommy turned away from him, settling back into the passenger seat, and mused over what product began with the letter ‘q’. There were plenty of open canvases to paint mental pictures on now that they took lonely highways that weaved around and through an abundance of pastoral settings. Tommy hated each one of them.

“Oh, Quaker’s oatmeal,” he said, glancing at Billy with a smug smile. “Alright, pilot, your turn.”

“I didn’t know we could name brands too,” Billy said, lips turning down.

“Come on, come on,” Teddy said from behind with enough enthusiasm for them all. Tommy had to grin at how engrossed the blonde was.

Billy waved him off with one hand before returning it to the wheel. “Alright, alright. Easy one. Rice.”

“Salt,” Teddy answered.

Tommy paused, selecting the first word that sprung to memory. “Tampons.”

“ _What_?” Billy’s head tilted as though tempted to pull away from the road so he could stare at Tommy.

Shooting the driver a sneer, Tommy pressed, “What? Don’t be a baby.”

“They don’t sell those in grocery stores. That doesn’t count,” Billy said.

“They do too,” Tommy countered.

“They do?”

“Yeah, Teddy. I’ll show you next time.” Tommy made sure his voice captured his eye-roll.

Billy made a face Tommy couldn’t discern, but would venture it was a cocktail of bemusement and weirded-out-ness. “How do you know that?” he asked, daring to spare his twin a glance this time.

With a shrug, Tommy propped up his legs on the dashboard.

“Did you buy some?” Teddy asked, then amended it with, “Not…for yourself obviously.”

Tommy crossed his arms. “All this talk of food is making me crave food that doesn’t come out of a bag,” he said. “When’s the stop for a real meal and another stretching of the legs?”

“About fifteen minutes,” Billy answered quickly. “But wait, you’re not dropping that so easily. When was this?”

The shallow harbors of Tommy’s patience was only out-shallowed by the harbors of his temper. “God,  _fine_. You’re ridiculous, you know that? Kate made me get them once, alright?”

Eerie, nerve-grating silence.

“Oh,” Teddy eventually said.

Tommy spun around, face darkened by a glower. “You have something to say about that?”

“No, it’s…sweet of you,” the blonde said, smile blooming. “I’m a little surprised that you did that.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“No, really,” Billy seemed eager to elaborate. “You always go on about how you hate helping out. We knew you were really good deep down. Well, Teddy insisted on it more than I did.”

“You shut up too.”

Teddy scooted forward, enough so that Tommy needed to shimmy centimeters away from his overbearing presence. “I bet if we really needed it you would get things for us too.”

Huffing, Tommy stuffed himself deeper into his spot, intending to become invisible. “Don’t flatter yourselves.”

“I think the next game should be us listing each nice thing Tommy has done,” Billy chimed in while Teddy had himself a fit of the giggles.

 _April 14 th_ 4:55 pm

_Apparently I’ve done a little over a dozen ‘nice anti-Tommy’ things in the last eight months alone. Asked if they would pull over and let me run the rest of the way. They didn’t._

_Never playing alphabet games again with either of them._

**-x-**

_April 15 th 7:01 am_

_~~MY NAME IS TOMMY AND I SLEEP LIKE A CUTE PUP AND THINK IT’S SO FUNNY TO POUR SOY SAUCE IN BILLY’S FAVORITE BAG OF CHIPS.~~ _

_Teddy and Billy agreed to never take me to a sushi joint again, or anywhere else that gives away free packets of soy sauce. Wouldn’t mind having a cow in here for better company._

_Also, pretty sure Teddy cheats at the license plate game._

-x-

Billy was lost and craving caffeine.

Tommy knew the signs and counted all five of them prior to saying, “You’re lost.”

“Tommy, be quiet. I’m not lost,” Billy said, stuffing the urge (for the third time) to glare over his shoulder at the backseat driver.

Who knew that the expansive country side could be so…expansive. If family road trips had always been long, this one was riding out a full era. An era consisting of the same horizon, the same clouds, the same fields, the same—

“I just counted my three-hundredth cow,” Tommy said from behind. “Three hundred one…two…three…”

Billy gripped the wheel harder and exhaled. “Any luck?”

Smartphone in hand, Teddy frowned at the screen. He tapped it lightly. “No,” he said. “It keeps trying to load our location. I’m going to check the map.”

“Who uses a map these days?” Tommy asked, now draping himself against Teddy’s seat. “Does this car even  _have_  a map?”

“It’s my parents’ car. Of course there’s a map,” Billy said, curt. He blinked a few times as if hoping that would magically spawn a gas station. “Check the glove compartment.”

“I still say you should let me out of the car and check how far the Bed and Breakfast is, which, by the way, I can’t believe we’re  _staying_  at a B and B.”

Motels were suiting Tommy just fine and dandy. A nice Bed and Breakfast with Teddy was an idyllic fantasy he bet Billy indulged in now and again, one that had him placed very, very, very far away.

Tommy didn’t like to fathom what raunchy details would unfold should Billy and Teddy be poisoned by the cozy, romantic atmosphere that B and Bs were rumored to be infested with.

“We need somewhere to sleep before we cross the state line and it’s the closest one,” Billy reminded him, again. “And no. No powers. We promised my parents no powers. How many times do I have to tell you that? They’ll never let me take a real road trip with Teddy or anything if we just poof ourselves there.”

Tommy groaned and collapsed as dead weight into the cushions.

“Brat,” Billy muttered.

“Tight-ass. Oh, wait, I’m sure Teddy would know about th—“

“Tommy!”

“Billy, watch the road!”

_April 15 th 2:29 pm_

_Wish we had run off the road and into a cow._

_Finally found a crappy gas station. What gas station doesn’t have Twinkies? Teddy let me have the last one that we had in the car at least. I forget I like him sometimes._

_Also, pretty sure all cancers have their origins in public restrooms._

**-x-**

_April 15 th 10:54 pm_

_Bad idea to tell ghost stories about car accidents when driving on a lonely, dark road. I think the witch was seriously considering teleporting us out of there._

_More importantly: Hate cars. Hate grass. Hate skies. Hate cows. Hate sitting. Teddy says I fidget too much. I hate his commentary. Hate how smoothly he drives. Makes it more boring._

_Hate the witch. Took the last bag of spicy chips. He doesn’t even like spicy stuff as much._

_I’m running out of things to write. Losing brain cells with each passing cow and sheep._

 

**-x-**

“We weren’t having sex,” Teddy repeated and pulled them into the main highway.

More cars at last! Asphalt, glorious asphalt. Good-bye dirt roads and cows. Tommy would lovingly remember the creatures each time he took a bite of a burger, which he planned to do the moment they made contact with civilization.

“Shut up. I know what I heard,” Tommy said.

Billy scrubbed his face and whirled around to pierce Tommy with a hard stare. “We all got stuck sharing one room and two beds. Trust me when I say we weren’t going to try anything with you there being a light sleeper.”

“I am not a light sleeper and it’s your fault we got one room. You probably didn’t double check when you reserved it.”

“Yeah, you are and yes, I did.”

“You’re a heavy sleeper. What would you know?” Tommy asked.

Teddy chuckled. “We have watched you nap here a few times. Any sound makes you twitch.”

“I don’t  _twitch_.”

“We’ll videotape it next time then.”

Tommy groaned and sagged to the side until his head bumped into the cool window. “Just keep driving, Teddy. Maybe we’ll reach Hell before we get to our destination.”

“You’ve been to Hell, and you want to revisit?” Billy asked, followed by the sound of some rummaging.

Brainpower depleting, Tommy stared blankly at the dashing streaks of colors that were other cars, aching to remember what it was like going at their speed. “This whole trip has been a descent into Hell,” he mumbled.

He heard a rustle and then something light plopped onto his chest, bouncing into his lap. A quick look told him: his preferred bag of spicy chips.

Suspicious written in the way he handled the bag, Tommy asked, “What? For me?”

Billy flashed him an upturned corner of his mouth before facing forward again. “Saw it at the gas station we last visited.”

“What’s the catch?”

“No catch.”

  
Tommy narrowed one eye at the bag, then at the back of his twin’s head. “No catch,” he parroted, squeezing the bag’s ribcage until it protested with that satisfying ‘pop’. Tommy dove right in.

“Gotta say you did pretty well for a long road trip,” Billy said, though he wasn’t sparing Tommy further glances. “Just think of it as a small token for your good behavior.” Heavy pause. “Well, mostly good, given how bad it could have been.”

Teddy nodded. “We know it’s not easy for someone like you to be still so long either.”

The weight of the words didn’t so much as trickle over him as they caved in on him. Tommy recovered quickly, as he always did, and resumed munching, deciding not to ponder over the fact that the closest thing to a road trip he ever had was the fateful car ride down to juvie.

“I never want to be in a car with you two again,” Tommy ended up saying, deflating onto his side, legs lifeless over the seat. He continued to nibble on the snack.

Billy made a sound that was part laugh, part sigh. “I think I’m going to enjoy even teleporting to the bathroom after this,” he added in agreement.

At that, Tommy saw the start of a smile curling Teddy’s lips up. “What are you so happy about?” he asked.

The blonde shrugged and peered back at him. “This.”

“What? Our impending freedom?”

“No,” Teddy’s smile broadened. “How normal we are. Just like any family on a road trip, arguing and stuff.”

“We’re far from normal as they come,” Tommy opposed, wiggling so he could stretch onto his back. “How normal are the witch, shape-shifter, and speedster that they choose to take a days-long road trip when they could easily run, fly, and/or teleport to their destination?”

Teddy’s grin wasn’t faltering in the slightest. “And what?” he began, eyes flicking to the rearview mirror.

Though Tommy couldn’t see it, he heard Billy’s smile in the way he added, “Miss all the fun and animosity that comes from being cooped up together in a car?”

Despite his best efforts not to, Tommy wound up smirking.

_April 16 th 11:35 am_

_Considering I’ve visited Hell, guess this trip wasn’t as bad. Possibly. Up for reconsideration at a later time._

**-x-**

_April 16 th 4:13 pm_

_We like you too, Tommy._

_Sign,_

_Teddy and Billy_

_P.S. Don’t be mad that we snuck a peak. You fell asleep with it open next to you on the dresser_

_P.S.S. We videotaped you sleeping, sorry (I’m not – Billy)_

_P.S.S.S. Don’t forget we still have the drive back_

**-X-**


End file.
